100 Bad Reasons to Declare War
by merrypoptartslover
Summary: We're really lucky not to have another war on our hands. Just read this list as a start...


Bad Reasons to Declare War

**I was inspired by the 1000 Bad Reasons to Declare War on TV . Some items below are a refence to the list and site. I highly suggest looking at it. It's hilarious. This fic is just for humor, not to offend anyone. Press the reivew below to correct my grammer or suggest more reasons. Or to ask who 'spoke' what question. Some are neutral, though.**

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1) I just don't like them

2) Their nation-tan is hot.

3) He keeps disagreeing with me

4) His food is easily a weapon of mass destruction. He should never have been allowed in a kitchen.

5) Big Brother won't marry me

6) He owns me money

7) I own them money

8) NO ONE WILL NOTICE ME!

9) He won't get off my lawn

10) He insulted pasta. He dies. Horribly.

11) To prove I'm not in love with him, d-dammit!

12) To antagonize England

13) To stop the French from groping everyone in sight

14) To defend my neutrality

15) Because he butchered my language

16) He called me fat.

17) Someone from his country wrote a yaoi fanfic about my worst enemy and I.

18) Someone from their country drew a yaoi picture about my worst enemy and I.

19) Someone from their country drew a Rule 34 about me.

20) Because they drive on the wrong side of the road

21) They don't appreciate literature.

22) They all won't stop arguing during the meetings

23) They won't become one with Mother Russia.

24) He gets scared of mildly scary movies. We'll win easily.

25) He invaded Roderich's vital regions.

26) He's a pervert.

27) I want to fight one of his enemy's allies, who just so happens to be my longtime enemy.

28) I'm secretly in love with that nation.

29) To prove I'm a real country!

30) TO RULE THE WORLD!

31) Because I'm awesome.

32) To help Big Brother, of course.

33) He destroyed my Armada! Revenge will be mine!

34) He won't get my name right.

35) Because I can.

36) To disagree with both England and America

37) For the Evulz!

38) There's no McDonalds there and I need my hamburgers.

39) He's too loud and obnoxious

40) Because they're not on my map!

41) No one else believes in my magical friends

42) He was looking at a map and was going to invade me! It was self-defense!

43) I was bored.

44) So I can touch their breasts!

45) Their dress was so cute! I want more!

46) Their clothes didn't match.

47) We wore the same outfit. That is unforgiveable!

48) Huh? This isn't part of America?

49) Everyone keeps making up a love child between us!

50) He's dating the person I like and needs to be out of the picture. Forever.

51) The fan girls/ fan boys of the other country keep depicting me as a pathetic, whiny, uke.

52) They think I'm a county of my younger sibling.

53) People think I'm part of the UK.

54) He threw a paper ball at me at the last meeting.

55) He made Italy cry.

56) His cats are evil

57) He hates cats

58) To prove how much more one nation likes me better than him.

59) Because he's French

60) He beat me at Battleship. **No one** beats me at Battleship.

61) He won't acknowledge my (obvious) status as a country

62) He still won't shut up that he's a country. I mean he only has like 27 people on his fort for bloody's sake!

63) I saw him was looking at France

64) He drew my face on the chalkboard.

65) For more tomatoes

66) I'm having a mid-life crisis

67) I'm not a nation anymore but should be. I mean, I'm awesome!

68) They manufacture my toys and clothes.

69) To spread l'amour!

70) I'M NOT YOUR WIFE!

71) To spread the awesome around to those less awesome than the awesome me.

72) He drank all my beer

73) He won't let me drink all his beer

74) I had to pay for his tab when he went drinking in my city.

75) I had to pay for my _own_ beer when the meeting was in _his_ country!

76) His ideas suck.

77) No one will acknowledge my great ideas

78) I got arrested for nudity at the Olympics in his country.

79) I got a speeding ticket in his country

80) They cannot drive sanely. It's for all the other driver's safety.

81) I got banned from every pub in town in his country.

82) Big Brother likes them too much. They must be destroyed.

83) I had to bring him home from the pub last night. He was dancing half naked and singing Justin Bieber.

84) I need to prove I do so have military victories.

85) I want to flirt with cute girls in their country.

86) They have annoying tourists.

87) They keep confusing me with my brother

88) To stop the evil commies!

89) They insulted hockey.

90) He called football soccer.

91) Because he still thinks I'm communist

92) To get my happy place back.

93) He's English and I'm French. Any more questions?

95) I'm feeling Mafia today.

96) To settle the question once and for all: pirates or ninjas?

97) I'M THE HERO!

98) He keeps on kidnapping me on his pirate ship.

99) He took embarrassing pictures of me and blackmailed me with them so I would dress up.

100) I want to find more cute things.


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